| To Fish or Not to Fish |
They say that if you give a man a fish that he will eat for a day but if you teach a man to fish he will eat for a lifetime. From my experience,
people just want you to give them the fish every day.
I ran a Google search on Autism Treatments and just for fun I typed in “The Best Autism Treatment”. I was shocked at the results. When
did therapy for Autistic Children become such a marketing adventure? Several different websites claimed to provide “the answers that I
need”, “the best treatment”, as well as “the only scientifically proven treatment in The World”. And if you happen to do a Google search for
“Autism Cure” you might be shocked at the promises that you will read.
It really does not matter what method of treatment I agree with the most or prefer. What matters is what method(s) and treatment(s) works
best for YOU and YOUR CHILD! There are many to choose from and if you are not careful some people will tell you that there are only two
options 1) Their Treatment 2) All of the other “witch doctor, non-proven” treatments. This really is not true. While you do not want to
spend all of your valuable time and money for no results, it is wise to look at ALL of the options out there. If it were me and my child, I would
look for someone willing to do “whatever it takes” to help my child. I would also look for someone who has the best connections to get my
child therapy in the areas of speech, music, play, occupational, physical, psychological, etc…therapies.
My in-depth knowledge of all of the different types of therapies is very limited but I read something about one therapy that really grabbed my
attention. One type of behavioral therapy required 40 hours of therapy with the child, one on one, every single week. At first I thought to
myself “Wow! That is a lot of time spent with the child every week”. But, if a trained and trusted professional who has spent years studying
this method and effectively practicing it still has to spend 40 hours a week working one on one with the child, then how much should I, as a
parent, be spending with my child every single week? I’m not experienced or educated in any type of therapy. As a parent to a two year old
son I still feel like I’m being educated on fatherhood in general every day and it is difficult just to TRY and stay one step ahead of him
anyway. What am I supposed to do now? I’m not ready for this!
Simple math would show me that if my child spent 40 hours a week in extensive therapy then there are 128 hours left in the week that he
could possibly lose all that progress if it is not constantly reinforced at home. I don’t want to waste those 40 hours of progress or the money
that those 40 hours cost, so what am I supposed to do at home for the rest of the time? This comes in the form of a type of outreach
program where a couple of things can happen. You, the parent, can spend hours every day researching and studying different methods
and learning how to teach them to your child. Or a therapist can come and spend time at your home with you and your child showing you
how to do the most effective and efficient activities, how to structure your home, and educate you on what you can do to better facilitate
your child’s continuing progress.
A therapist’s worst nightmare can easily be a child who continues to forget everything in between sessions because a parent does not
correctly know how to continue therapy once the child leaves their office. On the other hand, a parent’s worst nightmare can be a therapist
who is “OK” with the child that does not make progress but continues to take their money every session. Don’t be the therapist’s or the
parent’s worst nightmare!
Get involved with your child and their therapy. This is the same thing that I would suggest to anyone with any child anywhere in The
World. Just get involved and become a part of their learning process. Research continues to show that parent involvement is positively
related to child achievement and success. It also shows that the more intense the involvement, the greater the chance for success. The
most effective types of parent involvement involve the parents working directly with their child on learning and therapy activities in their
home. It is important that the parent be working with the child on homework assignments, continued tutoring, and continuing to use the
materials and instructions provided and used by the teachers.
It is also shown that the more active the parent is in the child’s involvement, the greater the chance for achievement results compared to
passive parent involvement. This means that if the parent talks with the teachers, reads and signs written communications to and from the
school and therapists, and listens to the teacher and therapists (all passive involvement), the child has a greater chance for results than a
non-active parent’s child does. It also means that to achieve even greater results it is important to become actively involved and work with
the children at home, attending and actively supporting the school’s and therapist’s activities, helping out in the classroom and field trips,
etc… Amazingly enough, I have found that a large number of therapists in Cyprus are now refusing to allow the parent to become “actively
involved” in the child’s therapy process. Therapists are not allowing the parent into the therapy or class room and they are not empowering
the parent with the knowledge and skills that the child needs to succeed. We can look at this in future article, but I hope that you can see
my point. What does that therapist have to hide, except for your money and your child’s results?
Get involved with your child and their therapy. Get involved today because the earlier in your child’s therapy process that you become
actively involved the better the results will be. This is the same thing that I would suggest to anyone with any child anywhere in The World.
Get involved and become a part of their learning process. But make sure that your therapist(s) is also willing to be a part of your team.
Don’t just be happy with eating your one fish. Learn to fish so you can eat for a lifetime.
Clint W. Darden
Professional Athlete & Father